In 1958 the British theologian C. S.
Lewis gave a series of radio talks entitled 'The Four Loves'. The original radio series was criticized in
the United States because of Lewis' willingness to talk frankly about sex, a
criticism we are unlikely to hear about these lectures today. The lectures were gathered into a book under
the same title and published in 1960.
Lewis explored how, in Greek, there
are at least four words that are translated into English as 'love': (i) 'storgé' which means 'affection', (ii) 'philia' which means 'friendship', (iii) 'eros' which means 'romance' and (iv) 'agapé' which means 'unconditional
love'. In the case of the first three
words, Lewis explored the 'shadow' side of these ways of speaking about human
emotions: (a) ' storgé ' or 'affection' could often lead to jealousy, ambivalence
and smoothering; (b) 'philia ' or 'friendship'
sometimes leads to the creation of cliques, anti-authoritarianism and pride;
and (c) 'eros ' or 'romance' had
the ability to lead people to do evil as well as to do good.
Only one word, 'agapé ' or 'unconditional love', had, in
Lewis' view, no potential 'shadow'. For
Lewis 'agapé ' was the love
with which 'God so loved the world' that the Beloved was sent to bring about
our redemption from sin and error. 'agapé ' is not only unconditional; it is
also a love that is 'self-offering' and seeks the true good of the
beloved. It is, to use a common
expression, 'tough' love that challenges the beloved to become truly alive,
truly human, truly a child of God.
Over the many years of the exercise
of ordained ministry I have had to endure the reading of 1 Corinthians
12.31-13.13 at the wedding of star-struck lovers who have come to ask the
church's blessing of their marriage vows.
Whenever I have been the presider and this reading has been chosen, I
have gone to great pains in my homily to set it in the context of 1
Corinthians. In 1 Corinthians Paul is
writing to a fractious, disagreeable group of snobs who are unwilling to offer
'agapé ' to the poor and
disadvantaged among them. They have
begun to fight with one another about who possesses the 'highest' gifts of the
Spirit and cliques have begun to form within the community.
In chapter 13 Paul is not talking
about love as affection or friendship or romance; Paul is talking about love as
unconditional, self-giving, tough love that challenges individuals and
communities to grow into the full stature of Christ. This is not a 'Hallmark' moment but a
'cross-shaped' moment. This is not a
friendly chat but a call to radical change that has yet to be fully realized in
the life of the Christian community in our many and diverse expressions and
among humanity as a whole. Rather than
smile benignly and nostalgically when this
passage is read, we should experience a moment of godly fear as we realize our
shortcomings. 1 Corinthians 13 is a
clarion call to transformation and action.
Perhaps one day we shall hear it so.
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